Monday, December 27, 2010

Beverly Hills Never Looked So Bad: Housewives

So, Housewives of Beverly Hills, anyone? I haven't watched most of these 'Housewives' shows, but I did catch some Orange County and some New York.

The contender for phoniest person to date has to go to the wife of Frasier. Dude, seriously? Couldn't you find anyone more shallow? I don't usually dislike public figures, but this woman doesn't seem to have an authentic bone in her body - unless she's being catty. Better yet, she's the most authentic I have seen her when her psycho psychic friend is being catty. That's when she really seems the happiest of her season. Wow. I can't recall seeing a less human person portrayed anywhere else before. Is it just me? 

Monday, December 6, 2010

Shoveling Sunshine

Jo Schaffer from Shoveling in a Jo Storm  presented me with the Sunshine Award. Thanks Jo!

Now, I do not mean to sound ungrateful in any way. As a matter of fact, I'm more curious about how my little blog, which I assume about three people might see every month, could get an award at all. I was fairly certain those people were here quite by accident, and stayed only long enough to hit the escape button. Since I haven't filled you in on any of my embarrassing stories lately, what is there to come and see?

Not to worry, there has been embarrassment aplenty! A couple examples:

1. The other day I was in the living room with my college aged daughters. I was in my pajamas, and was not wearing socks. I see my daughters give each other one of those looks. You know, the look which makes you positive people are communicating something (about you) right in front of you. Crystal looked at me and her eyes got wide. Allison looked down and solemnly said "I'm not sure what to think." Oh! That! I hadn't shaved my legs.

2. The other month (almost a year ago now) I got to the house with a van full of Zachary's friends and we were all around the door removing our shoes and boots. I lost my balance, as I am prone to do, and grabbed the wall. Except it wasn't the wall. It was the derriere of one of Zachary's friends. Yes, mom of the year, right here. Very embarrassing. You know teenage boys never bring up stuff like that again to embarrass you. Oh wait! Yes, yes they do.

There is more. So, so much more. But you know, I need to leave some of the stories for my kids(and their friends, apparently) to tell to their therapists.

Thanks again, Jo!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Apparently, You CAN Fool Me Twice.

Saturday, we needed help with the cable. Our new box, which just replaced the new box we got on Wednesday, wasn't working properly. I made an appointment for 'some time between noon and two.'

At 10:38 I was out and about, nearly done with my errands, when my phone rings. It was Dino with Time Warner Cable. He said would like to come to the house a little early. When I asked how early he responded '10:45'. I was not going to be home by then so I had him call my husband.

Flash forward to when I get home. Dino had already been there a few minutes, waiting for the box to finish doing it's thing. We talked about Adelphia vs. Time Warner and how he used to work for Cablevision. We talked about all sorts of cable related items. When he was ready to go I joked that I should take his picture because last time a cable guy was out he did not take care of things properly. He had promised to call first thing the next morning, and we never heard from him again. I told him I even blogged about it and saved the name, supervisor's name and number, and ticket number in my phone. I started taking out my phone as my husband ushered Dino out the door. You can read about the past ordeal here, I'll wait.

Yes, you read it right...

Dino, you sneaky, slippery little sucker.

Our cable box still isn't recording or pausing, so someone will have to come out again. I hope it's Dino. I'm going to tell him!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Ice, Ice, Baby

     Auntie Kitten is at it again, kiddies! A little back story to start: One time we were at Great Wolf Lodge and some toilets were having issues. The maintenance crew brought giant buckets of ice and flushed them down the toilets, clearing the lines. It was icy magic, I tell ya'!

     Fast forward to today at my house. The toilet seemed a little hesitant to do its' thing. I remembered the ice lesson and poured a lot of ice into my toilet. Guess what? I had a toilet FULL of water and ice. I know you're wondering what I did next. I did what any logical person would do. I flushed it. Then I stood there saying "Oh noooooo. Oh noooooo. Lather, rinse, repeat a couple of times. My husband and son were of very little help. They were kind enough to laugh at me and tell their friends, respectively. I poured hot water in the toilet. Three times. It just welded the ice together.

     I offered to make ice cream in there, but sadly, I had no takers. Weirdos.